Confessions of a Skemmer

Confessions of a Skemmer

My name is Chuck and I have spent most of my adult life swindling people out of money.

I have worked under a number of pseudonyms over a long and arduous 4 month period, pitching everything from fake crypto art to rug-pulling shitcoins. These scams took in 10’s of dollars. No matter how much money I made or far-fetched the deal was, I never got caught.

That is, until my mom spotted my new Naruto Shippuden Hoodie 2 Weeks ago.

That was the day my Mom burst into my “office”. This was on Jarvis Street, Lacoochee, Florida.I occupied the backroom of my Mom’s double-wide. The place housed all of my “businesses”, but you would have never known that from the outside.

“Turn off your computer - It’s over” She yelled.

This particular scam was to find an established crypto artist, re-mint their work and offer it for sale on a number of marketplaces.

Capitalizing on the copy-paste meme, I did just that. A simple fake twitter profile to promote it and I managed to sell 1 copy for about 10% of the market value of the original!

My Mom waited in the doorway - where moments earlier, I had been checking on my numerous other scams. When she demanded answers as to my new found wealth, I went quiet, unsure of how to react and my cell phone went off. The theme from the Godfather (my new ringtone) filled the room. I couldn't help but feel a baller.

The next thing I knew, she stared at me and quietly said “Your day just got shitty, and it's going to get shittier”.

That was the end of my last scam. My Mom took away my computer. She still has it hidden somewhere. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back.

You might be thinking, “Oh, those scams are so obvious, and I would never fall for that one”. When I see someone post that only stupid people fall for fraud, I feel like asking for their Twitter handle ro Discord id#.

Here’s the thing, I’m not interested in stupid people. Stupid people don’t know how to use crypto, how to set up a wallet or how to search for the next mewnshot NFT or Uniswap Gem.

You’d be amazed at how many “smart” degens, collectors and devs, etc that I managed to rip-off.

Make no mistake: I am a dangerous person on a computer, I am a next level shit poster and I can fill your DMs with dreams that will make you want to give me your money. If I choose to be fraudulent in my practices, nothing is going to stop me taking lots of money from you. Period, the end. And the world is filled with people just as dangerous as I am.

I am everywhere, and I am a ghost.

In total, I walked away from my life as an alpha scammer with $368. Unbelievable I know!

I sold fake art; I created copies of defi shitcoins and provided liquidity and as soon as my victims degened in, I pulled that rug! I was on fire! I must have separated over 10 people from their hard earned crypto.

Finally my big-payoff - Having used over 25 alt-wallets to conduct my Uniswap scams, Uniswap gifted me 400 Uni per wallet I had used. I was sat on nearly 10,000 Uni. I used those gainz to buy a raft of the hottest shitcoins. I bought YFI, XFI, XSP, if it was there in the Top Pairs on Uniswap, I bought it.

I got liquadated on a few as the defi bubble started to burst, I was so consumed by the scams, I even managed to rug myself and I got caught by Off Blue, but I still managed to bank my $368!

I have a whole load of ideas for new scams, just ripe for separating people from their hard earned crypto. I can’t wait to start working and earning mad gainz again.

If you’re unaware, not paying attention or just plain greedy, I will take it from you.

Just as soon as my Mom gives me my computer back.

An average person trying to make something extraordinary

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